Nowaydays, you are either gold are you aren’t. And when you aren’t, it sucks. When you are…it will soon suck when you aren’t. So either way, you suck. But at least you are golden, and you can buy gold. Make sense? Yes? Absolutely? Good.

But what do you do? Well, here is what you do… If you use Monex Deposit Company (MDC) you can purchase gold or other precious metals and get them delivered to your place or a convenient safe storage place! Or you can even use an independent bank or depository place! Immediately! Right away! Right on!

And they’ve been doing this for 30 years, man! That’s 3 decades! (Say this next line with a Brooklyn accent) In the books! (Okay, back to a normal, midwestern accent.) Anyway, they are the leading gold and precious metals investment leader in America! And gold is a great product to invest in. You can invest in it in one of it’s two forms. Try coin or ingot. We all know what coin is. But what is ingot? Seriously, that’s a weird name for anything…let alone gold. Well, ingots are generally gold and pure bullion cast. That means they are made in a convenient size and shape. That’s what I love about ingots: they are convenient.

The whole art of buying gold has been recognized for centuries. Literally centuries, man. A lot. People have always known that it is the way to wealth and purchasing power. Duh. Gold bullion is also a unique investment that the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans even used. And nowadays, they still do! So you should too!

Gold can change men’s lives. The golden bar today is a proven investment diversifier. It protects your wealth, and your purchasing power! Monex Precious Metals is home to a large and dedicated staff of hard asset pros who are absolutely committed to serving your precious metal investment needs. They are this country’s best dealer, with a convenient market and competitive prices! I’m telling you–gold is the shit, man! It’s so awesome. Buy a gold chain and put it on and wear it with pride, man.

This is some of the worst humor I’ve ever seen….and I’ve seen a lot. Because I am Conan O’Brien. That’s right. Me, Conan O’Brien has been the one writing this blog the whole time. Yup… Alright, that’s not true. But who cares. This is the worst “sketch” I have ever seen. Anything I type here is automatically going to be funnier. How about this: Jon Lovitz blow-up doll. See? That wasn’t even funny and it was funnier than this clip.

National Lampoon’s, quit comedy or hire some people who know what it is and listen to them. Viral videos need to be a lot shorter too.

-Viral Video Genius

The glory days of YouTube Roast! are long gone…but remember the good ol’ days? The Michael Richards vide on YouTube? The kid who jumped from a high school balcony onto the class Christmas tree? The bad comedy troupes that we ripped? Good times.

Well, there’s no reason that we can’t bring those days back, right? You would think so…but the problem is I have no time and neither do any of the other writers. We all have jobs and lives and none of that is conduscent to YouTube Roast! Also, YouTube is so powerful and user generated-friendly that this site is pretty obsolete. I mean, if anybody would actually read what we write, then it wouldn’t be…but once again: no time = low quality content (for the most part).

Oh well. We tried. This site will still be around for now, but I’ve moved my creative energy into other exciting projects. Peace.

Whenever I think of longterm investments that pay off, I think of a shiny metallic substance formerly found in the Northern California hills called gold. Did you like that reference? No? Do you at least want to make money? Good. Read on.

Gold is what makes me get up in the morning and eat corn flakes with a spoon that is unfortunately not made of gold. But every morning, I think about how cool it would be to have a gold, cereal-eating spoon, and it motivates me. I don’t know why, throughout the day, I forget about the spoon, and then spend my day searching YouTube instead of investing, but I digress…

When it comes to buying silver, gold, and other precious metals and coins, you have options. Right? But there is only one Monex Deposit Company (MDC) that you really want to use. I’m serious; everybody else you use will completely suck. Don’t do it. You want personal delivery to wherever you want? How about convenient and safe sotrage at an independent bank or depository in America? That’s what Monex has got for ya. It’s been 30 years too. And after all that time, they are America’s leader in investments of the gold, silver and precious metal persuasion. Malarky! (in a good way…which isn’t possible, but is in this case)

Silver and gold can be available in coin or ingot form if you want to invest in it. They can be pure bullion cast. They can be convenient in size and shape. This is absolutely the time to buy silver/gold. The demand on this planet for silver is way beyond the actual annual production. In fact, it’s been that way every single year since 1990. There are above ground stockpiles of silver bullion that are really low, and shrinking. Technically, I don’t even know if you can call them stockpiles anymore. They are really just piles now.

You want to know about gold too? It’s pretty interesting. It’s been recognized for literally centuries as one of the absolutely most interesting, and best way to preserve one’s personal wealth and power of purchasing. It’s unique. It’s diverse. It’s shiny. And ever since the ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans did it, people took notice and decided that gold was the way to go if you want to be rich and cool and pimp. If there were a better time for buying silver bullion…well…there just isn’t. The U.S. government even buys it, because their silver hoard (that one they had around WWII) is gone. So buying silver bars is a good idea that you should look into. And American eagle gold coins are available in units of 10 one-ounce coins for personal delivery only. .9167 fine gold. Legal tender coin in the USA with a $50 face value. They are also available for personal delivery in fractional sizes of ounce, ounce and 1/10 ounce, in units of 20 coins each. Monex prides themselves on having the best US silver coin prices and programs in the entire silver coin industry. If that doesn’t remind you of the truth, I don’t know what does.

So give them a chance. Give them the chance Hollywood didn’t give me. They have a dedicated staff that likes to be dedicated, and shit. They like to show dedication. More dedication than a Lil Wayne mix tape. Hey-oh! They are America’s best dealer with a convenient market and competitive precious metals prices. If you want gold, Monex is your man!…I mean…company!

Just watch this. I don’t have anything to add. I just wanted to put another Jon Lajoie video up. I will say this though: this is the first video in the history of YouTube that I’ve posted and not watched; because I know it’s going to be good. I don’t need to “screen” it, as we say in the biz. I just know. Just like Semi-Pro, this is going to be a hit.

Since beginning this blog, I’ve watched Semi-Pro. I’d like to retract the comparison. But I will so that I still have no watched this video. I know that I don’t need to. It’s going to be awesome. Maybe I should even film myself watching it and then post that on YouTube, just to get a natural reaction of how awesome it is and how I knew that I was right when I posted it without watching it. Yeah, I’m going to do that. I’ll talk to you soon, Internet.

Jon Lajoie is back. If you saw his first rap video, then you were waiting for this one. This one doesn’t have the same feel. You are expecting it to be good, which doesn’t help, but it still is entertaining and “good.” With the first one though, you were expecting another lame YouTube rap parody…and then he came out of nowhere to smack you in the face with the truth. And I don’t use that experession, “the truth,” lightly. It would be lame if I did. But he literally, brought “the truth” in that first video, and he did it again this time.

I actually have trouble opening my eyes under water as well. I wear contacts, so that shit be difficult, mutha fucka. I probably wouldn’t rap about it though…but Jon Lajoie pulls it off. (Can you tell that this is another blog I don’t care about? This video stands alone pretty well. I don’t have much of a critique. I’m just an average everyday normal guy.)

Are you a big time, cigar-chomping, red meat engulfing exec? Or just a regular exec who doesn’t wish he was Winston Churchill? Well if so, and you are unemployed, you need to check out executive recruiting firm.

Back in 1967, when this country was infested with dirty, smelly hippies who now are glorified in way too many commercials, A.E. Feldman Associates, Inc. has been a big part of the recruiting field. And they’ve not only been a part–they’ve been operating at an extremely high level of service and commitment. Extremely. They have upheld this level for a long time, and they have no plans of stopping. Why would they? They survived the 60s and the LSD everywhere. Might as well keep going now that less people are high and care about business.

What do they do? Well, they have successfully placed a lot of top-notch candidates together with industry-leading clients. That skill makes them awesome for one, but also, it tends to lead to a good reputation, and, believe me, they are consistent as a sunrise. (Let’s hope that stays consistent.) This makes the one searching for work, and the company seeking an employee, content, dog. All of their top-of-the-hill recruiters know their respective industry. The industry they recruit for is the exact same industry where this recruiter had a history–a successful career of their own. They bring an invaluable depth of experience, skill and insight because of this. And these geniuses have the knowledge, contacts and the feel for their respective field. Coolness, dude! They’ll even use it to find the tightest fit for each and every job.

Their practices include financial and risk management services, legal and legal support services, communications and technology, human resources consulting, and luxury products. And within those nostalgic areas, you better believe AEF fills positions. If they don’t, I’ll delete my blog and leave this world on a spaceship. What positions though? Well, they do this nationally, and I’m talking about positions from the middle, to executive, all the way up to “C level” management. And then some. They also fill associate, partner, analyst and managing director positions. They are what I like to call, “true pimps.”

Now here’s a YouTube filmmaker who knows their audience…or at least think they do. Unfortunately, the performances leave something to be desired…just as I assume these hotlines do to anybody who actually calls. The concept is alright, but I’m not a nerd so I don’t get any of the jokes, and even if I did, I’m guessing they aren’t that funny anyway.

I’ll stick to other funny parodies of dating hotlines that I’ve seen, like BroLinks, and let this featured YouTube debut pass, without a development deal with CBS. Oh well, I guess that YouTube.com boom is dead. Or maybe this video doesn’t work because it’s so blatantly begging for the nerd audience. It’s too obvious. Most nerds don’t even know they are nerds…until it’s too late. (I don’t even know what that means.)

Unless you are lame, or worried about your young kids seeing this commercial (which is understandable), then you’ve got to admit this commercial is pretty funny…but only because it’s shocking. And in my opinion, that’s shocking in a good way. I have to admit though, my initial reaction was, “WTF? Are you kidding me?” Which is what the “filmmakers” were going for, I assume.

See what I mean? Actually, I just watched it a second time. It’s really not “funny,” but it is “WTF entertaining.” And I really would like a blow job from that girl in the video now–pop rocks or no. So now that I feel like a pervert for seriously critiquing this commercial, I’m think I’m going to stop now. I’m not going to go buy Pop Rocks, but if any YouTube Roast groupie chicks out there want to, go ahead. (Ha…YouTube Roast groupies…)

You ever watched a video about silver on YouTube? No? Prepare to get blowed. I mean, your mind. I mean, the brain in your head.

Oh…that was actually about the recession…but let’s talk about silver:

Did you know that it’s a good investment these days? Seriously, it is. Monex Depost Company (MDC). They will help you immediately and then you can purchase silver or even other precious metals that will immediately be delivered, personally to you. Isn’t that stupendous? Or you could even arrange for a convenient and safe storage at absolutely, positively, realistically, any independent bank and/or depository. It makes me feel a lot better about the dollar. I don’t know if it affects it, but it makes me feel slightly better. Especially since they’ve been doing this for 30 years and have been America’s silver and precious metals investment leader. It’s available in two forms for ya: coin or ingot. Ingots are generally silver ingots of a pure bullion cast. It’s a small little nugget in a convenient size and shape. And, of course, coins are coins; they have a currency value, or are actually defined by ingots. The demand for silver in this world is high too. It exceeds the annual production. It has every year since 1990. Isn’t that crazy? Every, single, year. I’m actually stoked just typing that.

There are above ground stockpiles of silver bullion that are low, and shrinking rapidly. I mean, it’s approaching zero, people. Monex Precious Metals is home to a large and dedicated staff. They have hard asset professionals committed to serving your precious metals investment needs yo. If I were you, I’d check them out because they know what they are doing. They will seriously make you more money then Wesley Hogan. I hate that guys commercials, but not Monex’s.